Top 6 Fictional Couples

 

Happy Walmart You’ve Gone Too Far Valentine’s Day, wordmigos! Just for kicks and giggles, I’ve compiled a list of my six favorite fictional couples in order of favorite-ness. Comment below with some of yours!

Anything goes for my list: books, movies, t.v. shows, and video games are all contenders!

Honorable mentions: Han and Leia, Wall-E and Eve

#6. Shasta (Cor) and Aravis (Narnia: The Horse and His Boy)

The two protagonists from my favorite Narnia story. It’s been a long time since I’ve read the Narnia series, but these two still stand out as a dynamic duo.

“Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I’m afraid, even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up, they were so used to quarreling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.”
C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

#5. Carl and Ellie (Up)

Do I really have to say anything? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

carl-and-ellie

#4. Link and Zelda (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)

Link and Zelda characters have a long history (as in a couple thousand Hyrulian years). But the Skyward Sword rendition of the pair takes the cake for its raw emotional impact. (Also…Zelda pushes Link off a cliff, so it’s kind of hard not to pick them.)

link-and-zelda

#3. Billy Bannister and Bonnie Silver (Dragons in our Midst)

I’m guessing the vast majority of you haven’t heard of this series (shame on you). Billy and Bonnie’s relationship starts as a pure and strong friendship, and it grows into something more meaningful and genuine than 99% of today’s fictional ‘romance’ relationships. Simply put, these two set quite the example for what a real relationship should look like. Oh, and yeah…she has wings and he breathes fire.

billy-and-bonnie

#2. Taran and Eilonwy (Prydain Chronicles)

I love everything about this couple: their genesis as mutually-aggravating allies, their development into a classic fantasy couple, and the emotional conclusion to their story at the end of the series. Note: the 80’s Disney film based on these books is garbage. They missed the mark by a mile and then some. 

“I can’t make sense out of that girl,” [Taran] said to the bard, “Can you?”

“Never mind,” Fflewddur said, “We aren’t really expected to.”
Lloyd Alexander, The Book of Three

#1. Hera and Kanan (Star Wars: Rebels)

Call it my utter geekdom when it comes to Star Wars. Call it my recent binge-watching of Rebels. Call it my “finally, a Jedi gets a proper relationship” outlook. Call it the fact that Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb make great unruly kids and Chopper makes the perfect family cat. Call it the raw emotions at the end of Season 2 (no spoilers, don’t worry!). Call it the fact that it doesn’t dominate the show, but it’s definitely there. Call it the fact that they argue, disagree, disappoint each other, forgive each other, yet always care and always help each other grow as individuals. Or call it all of the above.

kanan-and-hera


Glad you stopped by! Now run along and eat some chocolate (let’s be real: that’s the true reason for the season). In the meantime, have a great day!

22 Symptoms of Characteritis

Ever wondered if you’re actually a character in some random writer’s new story? Don’t worry! Here are some of the most common characteritis symptoms. It’s just like Googling that weird bruise on your toe: check to see if any of the symptoms match, and if one or two feel right, you’ll probably be dead by the end of the book!

Common Symptoms of Characteritis:

You frequently hold your breath without realizing it.

Your heart pounds/hammers/drums/thuds at unhealthy rates.

You get inexplicable stamina boosts.

You rely more on adrenaline than on nutrition.

You frequently lose consciousness, but you’re immune to concussions.

Your spine tingles/shivers/itches at random.

Your eyes scrunch/narrow/squint/glisten/widen/shut/open/gleam/flash every time you say something important.

You get interrupted every time you try to kiss someone.

You randomly pause whatever you were doing for a moment of intense introspection.

You frequently open your mouth to say something, then change your mind.

If others are surprised at you, they hide it well.

You often clench your fists, but only to express righteous anger.

You die a lot.

You run into random rivers a bit too often.

Your stomach curls/tightens/drops every time something bad happens, but you suffer no digestive side effects.

Your breath catches at random points in your respiratory process.

You have an identity crisis at age sixteen and change your name three times.

You have a knack for identifying the exact hue and depth of people’s eyes.

You’re prone to gunshots and stab wounds, but impervious to pulled muscles, stomach cramps, colds, and ear infections.

Falling to your knees is your compulsive response to tragedy. Your knees don’t bruise.

A funny friend starts tagging along everywhere you go.

You only have one nice teacher.


If you suffer at least three of these symptoms, you’re probably a character! I recommend you go see a specialist since you’re in for a rough ride. If your specialist has a beard and smokes a pipe, don’t get too attached to him. If your specialist is bald and wears glasses, he’ll probably try to kill you at some point.

In the meantime, have a great day!

10 Annoying Things Fantasy Characters Do

Ever notice how fantasy characters have the same habits in a lot of books? I have, and I made a list. Because I like lists.

Note: please don’t take this post too seriously. I don’t mind these things that much. I think it’s amusing more than anything else (except for #1, #2, and #10. Those need to stop). 

#1 Sensing things

The classic “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” scenario. George Lucas isn’t the only perpetrator. These characters sense everything three paragraphs before it happens. Meanwhile, I’m lucky if I sense my alarm going off in the morning.

#2 Eating bread, cheese, and apples

I get it. There aren’t a lot of foods that keep well during a long journey. But still…give the poor guy a bag of trail mix, at least (also…bread doesn’t stay fresh very long. And wouldn’t cheese stink up the whole travel pack?).

#3 Setting a watch at night

If you’ve got an assassin on your tail, setting a watch makes perfect sense. But fantasy travel buddies often “volunteer to take first watch” regardless of the danger level. Someone’s gotta keep the bears away, right? Should’ve kept the cheese in a tupperware…

#4 Drawing swords

If I had a dollar for every time a character “drew his sword” I’d quit one of my part-time jobs. I get it, okay? Drawing your sword makes you feel cool and threatening. Suggestion: save yourself the time and just punch the guy.

#5 Avoiding roads

Unless you’ve got Ringwraiths hunting you down, what’s the worst that could happen? A toll booth? Is dodging hypothetical bandits really worth all the briars and wet feet? Come on. If you do run into bandits, just draw your sword. Or punch. You should have set that watch, Jimmy.

#6 Running into bandits

Sorry. But there’s gotta be more ways to give your hero trouble before the real action starts. Have you tried bears? Bears are stinking terrifying. I’ll take bandits over bears any day of the week.

#7 Blasting things

I don’t like obscenities in fiction. Honestly, it just cheapens the prose for me. On the other hand, substituting every single moment of explicit frustration for ‘blast it!’ doesn’t really work either. Unless it involves bears and dynamite. In that case, by all means, blast them.

#8 Scanning treelines (or other landscape features)

He scanned the treeline. He scanned the ridge. She scanned the beach. They scanned the road. He scanned his passport. Seriously, can you stop that? Blast your scanning! There are easier ways to find bears.

#9 Holding council meetings

Because that’s the best way to make urgent decisions (bonus points if it takes an agonizingly long chapter of dialog). Once I even read a chapter about a council of bears. Not even joking. (The book was Father of Dragons, by L.B. Graham. A council of bears! Bless that man.) 

#10 Speed-learning skills

Whether your protagonist has to learn how to ride a horse, fight with a sword, punch bandits, scan treelines, or blast bears and their councils, she’ll probably do it on the road (or off it, because bandits and bears), under the sage guidance of some old fart, and it’ll only take her a week or two to master the practice.


Thanks for stopping by, reader. Subscribe/follow for more bears! In the meantime, have a great day!

6 Things Other Writers Do That I Can’t

Writers are creatures of habit, but each writer has their own particular set of habits. As I watch my fellow writers spin their tales, I’ve noticed them do some things that, for better or for worse, are simply out of my reach.

Here are six things other writers do that I can’t.

Improvise (a.k.a. ‘Pantsing’)

I live and die by the outline. While I firmly believe in allowing the story to grow organically and giving myself room to discover and be surprised by the process, if I try to write a complete story with no framework, no visual indication of where I’m going, I guarantee I won’t finish that project.

Write scenes/chapters out of order

Even though I always know what’s coming next thanks to my rigorous, often obsessive, outlining, I refuse to (and cannot) write the events of my story out of order. It just feels wrong. I know a lot of people have no problem doing so, and for some it even works better. But not me.

Write in cars/trains/planes

I’ve traveled a lot, and I’ve written in a lot of different countries. But try as I might, I can’t seem to write as I’m traveling. Writing in the car makes me carsick. Plane seats are too uncomfortable, and there are bound to be at least a dozen different movies playing on people’s screens to distract me. I’ve had minor success writing on trains, but more often than not I end up staring out the window.

Work on phones/tablets

A lot of people do this, and I wish I could because it looks so handy. But I can’t. I can’t keep notes, or write sections, or really do anything writing-related on my phone or tablet. Maybe my thumbs are too clumsy. Maybe the screen is too small. I don’t know. It just won’t happen.

Get up extra early to write

I’m not a morning person. I have, however, disciplined myself to be up at a decent hour and get to work (as long as there’s coffee). What I can’t do is force myself to get up earlier than my schedule dictates and expect myself to focus on the creative process. My brain functions far better late at night than early in the morning.

Write in my bedroom

This is mostly choice, but I can’t write or work in my own bedroom. Perhaps such proximity to my bed is too tempting, or perhaps the bookshelf behind me would be my undoing. Either way, I try to keep my work-space separate from my leisure/relax/sleeping space.


What are some of the things other writers do that don’t work for you? Drop a comment below! As always, I’m super glad you stopped by. Enjoy your day!

The Fantastic Five Dialog Tag

Guys. Guys. Guess what? I’m doing something I’ve never done before. I’m starting a blog tag. At least I think I am. Odds are this has been done before, but frankly, I don’t care. I’ll call it…the Fabulous Five Dialog tag. Super catchy, am I right?

But Mr. Nate, sir, what is this superb new concept you’ve brought to life? 

*Friendly pat on the head* Excellent question, little writerling. The Fantastic Five Dialog tag simply means I’m going to share five of my favorite out-of-context dialog lines from my work-in-progress novel and then tag some friends to share some of their own! Simple stuff, but I think it’s gonna be fun.

So here are five of my favorite out-of-context lines from Where The Woods Grow Wild (coming soon to Amazon near you!)…

“Why, you clod-brained, gimpy hog-moggins, I’m not evil!”

“A girl has to be resourceful. Besides, it’s a very noble kitchen knife.”

“Willows don’t like me, so naturally they start yelling at me the moment I fly by, and they forget they’re yelling when they go back to talking about things they intended to keep secret.”

“Fine, then, be that way. Yes, I found it when I was cleaning out one of his old desk drawers, and I took it because he has enough brass rings to fill a bean jar.”

“Take him away! Chop off his feet and light them on fire! Or throw quails at him!”

As it turns out, choosing just five bits of dialog was hard, but those are some of my favorites. I’ll go ahead and tag some people now (participation is voluntary, so if you’re not tagged and want to, go for it!):

Hannah Heath 

C.E.L. Stefani

Raychel Rose from That Bright Young Thing

Hope Ann from Writing in the Light

Kel Giese from A Teen’s Life 


Now it’s your turn! Have a favorite dialog line in mind? Share it in the comments below!

 

The Fiction Writer’s Job Description

Job Description: Fiction Writer

a very official document

(Please read and understand complete requirements before submitting your application.)

Work Location

Anywhere (this field includes but is not limited to households, offices, coffee shops, front porches, back porches, under porches, city parks, secluded glades, and cardboard boxes in back alleys).  

Departments

Available office departments include the Perpetually Drafting Department and the Perpetually Querying Department.

Duties and Responsibilities

Applicants must be prepared to emulate successful forerunners with as little variety as possible and memorize as many famous quotes by said forerunners with no intention of applying the advice therein. Specific responsibilities include:

  • Perform related duties as assigned by supervisor (…what supervisor?)
  • Maintain compliance with all company policies and procedures (unless applicant is self-published, in which case torches, pitchforks, and general creative anarchy may apply)
  • Master and abuse trade hashtags such as #amwriting, #amediting, #writers, #writing, #WIP, #fiction #writetip, #writingtips, #write, #CampNaNoWriMo, and #PleaseBuyMyBookImBeggingYou
  • Occasionally, applicants may be required to finish a first draft

Education and/or Experience Requirements

  • Excellent verbal and written communication skills, including the ability to effectively communicate with internal and external customers, as well as the foreknowledge that it will take 5-15 drafts to do so.
  • Excellent computer proficiency (MS Office – Word, Excel and Outlook, Scrivener, Wattpad, Pinterest, Instagram, Netflix, YouTube, Ctrl+Z, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, and especially Ctrl+Alt+Delete)
  • Must have A+ certification in creative and critical writing skills, grammar skills, and procrastination skills (exceptions can and will be made for the first three)
  • Must be able to work under pressure and meet deadlines (or at least nod courteously as they whoosh by)
  • Ability to work independently and to carry out assignments to completion within parameters of instructions given, prescribed routines, and standard accepted practices (ability, yes; but no moral, social, or professional obligation to comply with any of said parameters)
  • High school diploma or GED required (applicants will be encouraged to scribble their outlines on said diploma. Also, GED stands for General English Disorder)
  • Associate Degree preferred. As in, anyone who associates with the applicant will be subject to plot/character experimentation to varying degrees (including but not limited to murder, villainization, or being dropped off in a magical forest never to be seen again)

Physical Requirements

  • Ability to safely and successfully perform the essential job functions consistent with the ADA, FMLA and other federal, state and local standards, including sitting in a chair…and not much else.
  • Ability to maintain and be subjected to consistent schedules, paired with the ability to formulate quasi-plausible excuses to undermine said schedules.
  • Must be able to lift and carry up to 50 lbs (of 1st draft waste).
  • Must have a minimum career/internship average of 78.4% accuracy on crumpled-paper-to-trashcan tossing (applicants may purchase Paper Toss on Android for a simulated practice).
  • Ability to type consistently with a minimum of three different body parts (fingers, toes, and forehead recommended) with an average of no higher than three spelling errors (per word).
  • Must have 24/7 access to coffee and/or tea and/or wine and/or chocolate and/or ice/cream (and/or other comfort food of choice).

Print Employee Name (for maximum efficiency, please include your personal name, pen name, Twitter handle, blog link, Facebook page, Pottermore username, and up to five promotional headlines).

Thank you for your interest in the position. We will respond to your application as quickly as we can.

When I Finish A Good Book…

When I finish a reading a good book, I don’t want to…

…Talk about it, talk about anything, say anything.

…Move on to the next activity.

…Answer questions about the book.

…Start reading something else.

…Go write a review or blog post.

word-end-on-the-dices-1237220

When I finish reading a good book, I want to…

…Sit in a quiet room, without interruptions, and think.

…Feel the emotions, bitter or sweet, and let them be.

…Listen to the closing line echo in my mind.

…Thank the author, even though they’ll never hear me, for impacting my life through their story.

 

Because a good book doesn’t end on the last page.