“Kill Her Off” (A Love Song Parody For Writers)

 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, but not all of us will be celebrating with touchy-feely festivities. I’ve tweaked the lyrics of the classic song “Kiss The Girl” (Disney) to create an ode to all the characters we as writers loved but, sadly, had to say goodbye to.


Kill Her Off

(a parody by Nate Philbrick)

 

There you left her

Sitting back in chapter two

She don’t got a lot to do

But you’ve already named her

And you know by now

Just gotta figure out how

You’ve gotta kill her off.

She’s not developed

She’s not growing like the rest

Her personality is just the same

As the other love interest.

So you can use a sword

Or an ironing board

Go on and kill her off.

Sing with me now

Sha la la la la la 

Why oh why

Does the writer cry

He’s gotta kill her off

Sha la la la la la

It’s so sad

Even her dialog’s bad

He’s gonna kill her off. 

Choose your method

Drowning or a whale harpoon

But you better do it soon

This outline is failing

Things will be better if

You push her off a cliff

You’ve gotta kill her off.


Happy Valentine’s day, everyone!

mood

 

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8 thoughts on ““Kill Her Off” (A Love Song Parody For Writers)

      1. 😀 Exactly *yawn* I quite like writing what people would think is a well-used trope and then turning it on its head. Wolf Born is nothing like Vastian Lore, despite having some of the same characters. It’s more in-depth for one and slightly darker for another because I tend to look deeper into the characters personalities etc. Not all people are nice… :0

        Like

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